Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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