Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
be right there i have to get my cape
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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