i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
