So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
