wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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