just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
