Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
