just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
