Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it hurts more in the daytime
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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