All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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