Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
