I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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