just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
