thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
