your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
