Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
