jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
