I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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