i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
