So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
