it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
