If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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