Do vagina's smell?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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