he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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