I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
