your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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