Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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