I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
