shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to make a zoo with you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
