yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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