My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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