WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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