the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
