its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
