Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
