I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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