do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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