Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
