There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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