just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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