I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
