If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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