im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
