You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
