I think my vagina is haunted
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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