what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
