why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
