I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
