Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
