Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's just like the Real World with babies
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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