Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
