my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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